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Sunday Tribal Brunch
Posted 11/08/2009 @ 8 :07 AM

92878697
So if I'm Team USA Fed Cup Mary Jo Fernandez, I call Alexa Glatch and Melanie Oudin into the locker room, sit them down real close to me, look them in the eye, and say, "Girls, we go 'em right where we want them!" Try to give them a little confidence - better deluded than dispirited, right? It look's like the USA's back is really up against the wall against this nicely balanced, talented, spirited team of Italian veterans who won both of yesterday's singles in the Fed Cup final at Reggio Calabria, Italy. Neither Flavia Pennetta (who beat Alexa Glatch) nor Francesca Schiavone (who topped Melanie Oudin after a tight, tiebreaker first set).

Reggio Calabria - isn't he Roland Garros's second cousin?

Anyway. The other big news of the day was Novak Djokovic's match-point dismissing win over Radek Stepanek, which earned the Djoker a place opposite Roger Federer in the Basel final. Federer is the definition of "classic" as well as "classy" in tennis, so it only figures that he's on the cusp of winning the tournament where he once worked, dreamy-eyed, as a ballboy. This kind of thing, unsurprisingly, happens quite often in tennis. So maybe you should forget all those expensive tennis lessons and set aside the brochure from the IMG Nick Bollettieri Tennis Academy and just send your kids out to ballboy at any event they can find.

Anyway, have a good Sunday, I'll be back tomorrow morning with some red meat.

-- Pete



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Saturday Watercooler
Posted 11/07/2009 @ 9 :00 AM

92860855

Howdy, everyone. I've got a lot of errands to do today - have to put the chains and plow on the tractor, make sure the truck is winterized, drain the outside water lines. . . the usual. It sure is November here in game-rich Andes. Anyway, it seems like the landmark double bagel Novak Djokovic pasted on a hapless opponent the other other day has left him feeling his oats. Now he's calling for summit meeting to address the length-of-season issue. Next week, I want to circle back on this issue, because I've thought about it quite a bit since I wrote my last post. Meanwhile, enjoy today's action form Basel and Bali, and keep your mind open so good things don't find the door locked and nobody home. Now I feel like Senator Stuart Smalley, the celebrity politician (not to be confused with Madonna's ex, Citizen Spicoli.) Later - Pete

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The Deuce Club, 11.6
Posted 11/06/2009 @ 5 :00 PM
By Jackie Roe, TW Social Director

Good evening, TWibe! It's already November - how on earth did that happen? Raise your hand if you're not looking forward to the dreadful winter weather. *raises hand* Aussiemarg and others in warm climates, gloating isn't allowed!

92776280 As you all know, I was in Washington, D.C. last weekend to see my sister give a recital (she's a pianist) and visit some relatives. I had a wonderful time, though I missed hanging out here in the Deuce Club. How was everyone's Halloween? Did any of you dress up? If so, I'd love to see your costume! If you're willing to share your look with the group, please send photos to my Tennis.com e-mail and I'll include 'em in next week's DC.

So how about them Yankees, eh? For those living under a rock, the New York Yankees are the World Series champions for the 27th time, clinching the title in Game 6 on Wednesday night over the Philadelphia Phillies. Phillies fans - commiserations, especially to Sam! - will likely cringe at the following sentiment, but in many ways, it seemed like a Yankee victory was destined. (I won't detail the reasons here, lest the many Yankee detractors tar and feather me(!), but I'm happy to do so in the Comments if requested.) I'm over the moon, being a staunch supporter of the champs, but I'm also lamenting the end of the baseball season. The postseason, in particular. What will I watch now?! And how unfortunate that the tennis season is drawing to a close, too.

Speaking of which, I wanted to devote today's DC to the end of the WTA season. Sure, we have yet to see who wins in Bali ... and the Fed Cup final looms ... but as the season-ending championships have just passed, I thought this was an appropriate time to bid adieu to 2009. (Note that I'll do the same for the men when that time comes. Still about another month to go!)

You'll recall that I did this last year - combined the WTA and ATP awards, though - and it was a big hit. (Click here to see the post.) I wasn't about to mess with a winning formula, so below you'll see that I've reprised last year's awards. But as I'm also a fan of surprises, I've added a couple of new categories. You're more than welcome to come up with some of your own, too!

90714736 Take a look at all of the awards and tell us who deserves to win what (and why, if possible). Consider both singles and doubles, and if you're stumped by a category, feel free to skip it - there's no such thing as an incomplete entry!

WTA Awards:
  • Most Valuable Player
  • Most Improved Player
  • Breakout Player
  • Most Disappointing Player
  • Best Rivalry
  • Match of the Year
  • Most Inspiring or Shocking or Funny Moment (take your pick!)

And introducing the new, more "fun" ones:

  • Best/Worst Dressed (on or off the court)
  • Miss Congeniality
  • Most WTF? Performance
I'll reveal my awardees next week (though like last year, I've given away my pick for Most Inspiring Moment in the above photo - couldn't resist!). Have a great weekend, TWibe!
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Bad News Bearettes
Posted 11/06/2009 @ 1 :30 PM

92858893

by Pete Bodo

The Fed Cup final starts tomorrow, although you wouldn't know it from the media black-hole the event occupies. That's okay, there's something nice - and enjoyable - about having an event all to ourselves, right? So get ready to laze around tomorrow and Sunday, taking in last bit of tennis worth watching.

My own feeling is that compared to the recent Sony-Ericsson Championships and the suspiciously oxymoronic Commonwealth Tournament of Champions (Bali), the Fed Cup will be easy on the eyes (how can you beat red clay and the sunshine of a southern Italian resort town - or Flavia Pennetta for that matter, on that score?). I also expect it to be a colorful, spirited battle, rather than the limp to the finish line of another season, featuring antsy and cranky tennis starlets.

The big question, to my mind, is just how competitive we can expect the USA to be in this final. Flavia Pennetta and  Francesca Schiavone have demonstrated that when it comes to Fed Cup, they deliver as reliably as Fed Ex. Plus, they're playing on home turf. In fact, while this squad has brought home the Fed Cup before (2006, from Belgium, and by the same squad that will take the clay tomorrow) this is the first Fed Cup final ever held on Italian soil. And we have this: The Italians have yet to beat the USA in nine meetings; can you say "payback?" So the Americans have their work cut out for them. if they want to avoid being ground under the boot heel of Italy.

But before we wade into the match-ups, I should tell you all that I have a new post up at ESPN on the one-year suspensions laid upon two Belgian players (Yanina Wickmayer and Xavier Malisse) yesterday.

The sentiments I expressed in the post haven't changed overnight, and I see that Wickmayer has voluntarily withdrawn from Bali. While suffering a one-year and potentially career-ending (Malisse) or derailing (Wickmayer) suspension seems harsh, given that it's merely for missing tests instead of testing positive, this towering question still looms: If the "whereabouts" rule is so onerous, how come the other players, from Roger Federer and Serena Willliams to Vince Spadea and Jill Craybas, have been able to work with it?

The original news bulletin about the suspensions never mentioned that in addition to missing a test, Malisse violated the "whereabouts" rule on two other occasions. That's a little disturbing. So is the fact that both players are Belgians, when you consider how few players from that nation are afoot on the tours. It suggests a potential link in their cases, although that's purely circumstantial.

I suppose you can also choose to interpret this unexpectedly harsh decision (just weeks ago, it was thought that the two players would slip away with just a warning) as a "signal" being sent in the wake of Andre Agassi's revelations. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. But nobody fabricated the actionable charges against the two players, so, looking it at it that way just serves mainly to muddy the waters - but that seems to happen in every single doping case that comes to light anyway.

Those hostile to the anti-doping effort are always going to find a double-standard, injustice, or prejudice in play; vigorous proponents of a "clean" sport will always retort that most of those details are circumstantial at best, while a positive test, or clear, uncontested violations of the "whereabouts" rule not only warrants action, it demands it.

People sometimes forget that last bit. What are you supposed to do if  you're a doping control agent, ignore clear, fact-based evidence because it might result in controversy, or even damage to the sport? Once a system is put in place, the only thing worse than potential injustice is selective or non-enforcement of the regimen's provisions. We'll see what Malisse and Wickmayer have to say for themselves in the appeal process.

On to Fed Cup. 

The draw broke well for the Italians, and it's not like they've needed help from the gods. Pennetta has been having a career-year since about the mid-point of 2009, and Schiavone has drafted behind her. Pennetta will meet Alexa Glatch in the opening match. More important, Francesca Schiavone, who meets Melanie Oudin in the second match, is well-positioned to delier a potential knockout blow. She's had a smoking-hot hand lately; in her last two tournaments, she was a finalist (Osaka) and a champion (Moscow).

Say what you want about the quality of those events, or the competition Schiavone faced - I think any player would rather win a second or even third-rate event than lose in the third or fourth round of a major. It's not just about the ranking points, either. It's about winning matches. Those W's are like potato chips, you just can't get enough of them.

Schiavone didn't beat a single player ranked above her (she lost to the only one she met, in the Osaka final, no. 15 Slammin' Sammy Stosur). But don't underestimate what nine wins in 10 matches can do for a girl when she's going up against a relatively inexperienced opponent who's ranking nearly doubles her own (Oudin is no. 49).

The head-to-head records of the singles players tell an interesting story, if the nearly absolute lack of story can be said to be tantalizing. There is no telling H2H detail; Alexa Glatch played Flavia Pennetta at Roland Garros this year, and won one-and-one. But Pennetta was playing hurt. Glatch has has never played Schiavone, and Penetta has never clashed with Oudin. The only other match-of-record was Schiavone's one-and-one rubout of Oudin at Indian Wells in 2008. It's foolish to draw conclusions based on that match; at the time, Oudin was no. 320 in the world and just testing the waters of the pro tour. She's a different player today.

This tabula rasa may work for the heavy underdogs from the USA. The Italians may not be overly worried about Glatch (who hasn't played well in 2009), but you know they're wondering if Oudin, the crowd darling they couldn't help but watch at the US Open has become a force. Heck, everyone is wondering that in the wake of Oudin's sensational run in New York, which leaves her nicely positioned to add to a resume already sprinkled with unexpected heroics.

I expect Oudin to do well on clay, partly because she has great wheels but also because of her nerve. She's a very tough player to beat, unless you can tee off on her serve. But it's harder to hurt a woman with a return on clay, especially if you're not looking to go for broke. We all know how many problems a high-quality competitor with a solid, consistent game can pose on red dirt.

The pressure on the Italian squad will be significant, and that's always in play in Fed or Davis Cup. The same details that point toward an Italian win, including the one-two punch of a weak record against the US and the home court advantage, can be turned inside-out very quickly. However, the Italians ought to be sufficiently veteran not to be spooked into such a reversal of terms.

On paper, Glatch's chances are slim to none, but this is the same girl who, in the USA's last meeting (and her Fed Cup debut), won both her singles against excellent players who had the home-court advantage: Iveta Benesova and Petra Kvitova. In fact, she lost just six games in the process. But the Czechs held the tie on an indoor hard court, which also worked out nicely for the Californian, Glatch. The question of how she'll fare against crafty veterans on clay is an open one.

This tie could be much closer than it may appear, and it could be decided by the doubles - in which case the USA is really in with a chance, what with Leizel Huber (the world's no. 1 doubles player) on the squad. Huber is, according to Fed Cup captain Mary Jo Fernandez, the "unquestionable" leader of this team, and she was the linch-pin in the two narrow victories that brought the USA to southern Italy. That gives the Italians something to ponder, and makes securing the tie before the doubles a high priority. Vania King (a last-minute substitute for Serena Williams) is no slouch in doubles.

I'll be up front about this: I really like both of these teams; they personify gritty, no-nonsense tennis, and cover the spectrum from sophisticated to youthfully exuberant. I'd be pulling for the Italian girls without a moment's hesitation - if they were playing anyone but this particular USA team, the survivor of two 3-2 decisions. Call them the Bad News Bearettes. I think they'll be be causing plenty of mischief in the honey-hole of Reggio Calabria.

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Travelin' Man
Posted 11/05/2009 @ 12 :07 PM

92754129

by Pete Bodo

Mornin', and sheesh - when was the last time we talked about Roger Federer?  You know, Swiss dude. Used to dye his hair orange. Works for some chocolate factory  - Lindt, is it? Guy whose reputation was destroyed by some blogger who didn't like Federer's Wimbledon wardrobe BUT GAVE METH FREAK ANDRE AGASSI A FREE PASS!!!!!!  Talk about vicious and unfair!

Yeah. That Federer.

I imagine a fair number of tennis pros who woke up this morning and checked the Internet suddenly lost their appetite for low-carb Muesli with mango and pomegranate when they saw that Federer has released his schedule for 2010, and it's loaded with 18 events. So much for the idea of putting up your feet (or getting down on the carpet to watch Sesame Street with the little ones) after you've clocked your record 15th Grand Slam title.

Call him Mr. Tennis if you like, but I'm calling the Dubai Bureau of Special Services for Women and Children to report him. No children, least of all lovely young twins, should be abandoned by their father. Statistic show that later in life, children raised by Slovak women who have been tennis pros are at-risk for addiction to Jonas Brothers CDs.

Federer will begin his assault on the Grand Slam. . . Wait a minute. There's nothing for the guy to assault - unless you count Davis Cup, that wacky little event with two appendixes and remnants of a prehensile tail. And he's clearly not into that. 34-32 in the fifth set against some no name Equadorian - who needs it? The only thing Federer seems to have penciled into the time slot occupied by Davis Cup week 1, between the Australian Open and the Indian Wells Masters 1000 event, is a home court appearance in Dubai.

By then, Federer ought to have mastered Arabic; he's playing Abu Dhabi (starting Christmas Eve; I have a feeling they won't have a Creche at the airport), Doha, and, after a quick side trip to Melbourbe, Australia, Dubai. Hey, somebody's got to pay for all those onesies, right? And let's face it, why square off against Rafael Nadal on Spanish clay with all those kings and princes looking on when you could just go and beat up on Andy Roddick and Novak Djokovic under the appreciative gaze of mega-rich sheiks who don't get this whole "fifteen-love" thing anyway?

This year, there will be no drive-by appearance in Monte Carlo (to hail with all those PR guys from the watch company - tell them I'm out of the office!). Federer will begin his big push to add another French Open bauble to the trophy cas. . . warehouse. . . in Rome.

Why Rome? Ever had the pasta in the player lounge there? 'Nuf said. Then it's on to Estoril, Madrid and Roland Garros. Why Estoril? Ever had to work off a week of pasta, available 24/7, for free?  'Nuf said.

After visiting Roland Garros, Federer will spend some quality time with Gerry Weber (I think he's the guy who invented the barbecue grill; you know, that cheap thing that wobbles like crazy on those aluminum legs and plastic wheels). He'll also swing by Wimbledon to pick up his seventh - or is it 11th, or 15th? - title. You do tend to lose track after a while.

It appears that the lure of corn dogs and beer pong is one that Federer can resist. He's not going anywhere near Indianapolis, but he'll play Toronto, a northern suburb of Detriot, Mich., and Cincinnati (just to rub the noses of those hicks down in Indy a little further into it). He's going to arrive in New York in a litter, wearing a fez, and a Nehru jacket emblazoned with somewhere between 15 and 18 buttons depicting Greek gods (the number depends on how things work out in Melbourne, Paris and London). The names of the six lucky litter bearers will be drawn out of a hat, with every one of the ATP Top Twenty having an equal chance to be picked!

A few weeks after that, Federer will set sail for Shanghai, hoping he might meet Madonna (I hear she's making a sequel, the first one was so good!). He'll finish the year up in Basel and Bercy. According to his representatives at IMG, Federer was on the fence about Bercy, until he learned that the French Tennis Federation is building a new stadium for the event. It will be a 450-foot bust of Federer; ticket holders will enter through the "It's A Pity" portal cleverly built into the mouth. Plans to have a corporate hospitality lounge in each nostril have forced the architects to eliminate the planned nose hairs, for the sake of ticket-holder comfort. The court will, in effect, exist in the space occupied by the brain pan in the typical human being's head.

Then, at the Tennis Master's Cup, the ATP is planning a special ceremony to honor Federer. Special guests will include a dancer who appeared in the late Michael Jackson's Thriller video and has gone on to win a seat in Germany's parliament. Also, Federer's wife and their two daughters. A tele-prompter will be available, should Federer need to be reminded of their names, Wimby and Meadow.

My advice to everyone else on the ATP Tour? Throw that granola and fruit into the trash and get yourself a big fat bacon, egg and cheese sandwich on an everything bagel.

What difference does it make?

Oh, and in late-breaking news: Federer also plans to compete on the F-1 racing circuit this year, driving in every race but the Sebastapol Grand Prix, for Team Kia.

PS - Those of you who choose to drift into high dudgeon may now do so. Talk about whatever you like below.

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